This story is part of Amy Bell's Parental Guidance column, which airs on CBC Radio One's The Early Edition.
It probably didn't take long for some poor cavewoman to feel insecure about her body — image is that deeply ingrained in human society.
And now, after spending months at home, under stress and without access to some of the outlets we usually partake in to combat stress, some parents and kids are feeling ashamed of their bodies.
As we see eating disorders increase at an alarming rate, and with more filtered faces appearing on my social media feeds, is body insecurity going to be the next pandemic?
How you look isn't who you are
There's a lot of talk about body positivity. We're gradually seeing companies using people of all sizes in their advertising and designers creating more inclusive ranges of clothes.
But if we've seemingly come so far, why do people still spend so much time focusing on how they look and comparing themselves to others?
We can blame biology to a certain degree: Wanting others to find you attractive is the driving force behind the behaviour of most animals.
But there are also a lot of cultural biases and standards that are deeply ingrained in us from a very young age.
Renae Regehr, a counsellor, mom of four and founder of Free to Be, a non-profit organization that promotes positive body image to youth, parents and educators, says we need to change the way we view and value beauty.
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful or wanting to be attractive," says Regehr. "Where the problem comes in is, how much power and attention and time and energy and resources are we investing in our beauty?"
Instead of focusing on the images we see online and on our screens — and whether we are skinny enough, have long enough hair, bulging biceps or the latest clothes, we need to focus on accepting the person in the mirror.
And we all need to pay attention to the negative voices we hear and try to peel back the layers of why we might believe them — because what we worry about on the outside is always a reflection of more deeply rooted ideas we hold.
"If I feel bad about myself because I don't fit in these clothes, the deeper belief underneath is, 'maybe I'm not attractive and therefore I'm not lovable,'" says Regehr.
Food is fuel — not fat
So what can parents do to help their children understand that their bodies are more than good enough exactly as they are?
For fitness coach Lindsay Honey and her wife, it's about making their 10-year-old daughter understand that food isn't an enemy — it's fuel.
But while our bodies are truly amazing machines, it can be particularly difficult to teach our children to appreciate this when so many parents have struggled with their image or self-esteem since March 2020, Honey says.
"A lot of us are feeling awkward, embarrassed, pressured to be that perfect body. If we can get over our own insecurities, we're going to be able to instill that in our children," Honey explains.
It can be tough to accept that your body has changed. But our bodies will always be changing and adapting to situations, and we need to respect that. We didn't "let ourselves go" during the pandemic, we just reacted to its stress and complications — and that is reflected in our bodies.
Pressure comes from everywhere and everyone
Many people have spent their whole lives feeling like they don't measure up, thanks in part to unrealistic standards from so many places. Movies, magazines, runways and social media constantly present us with an idea of what we are supposed to be and to look like.
But we can't blame it all on these influences.
A lot of that expectation is passed down from older generations, recent high school grad Carmen Suarez Domeier believes.
"To be accepted in society you have to look the youngest you possibly can," says Suarez Domeier. "It's so much pressure on older women, on their shoulders. And it can kind of rub off on younger generations."
She says the pandemic gave her a chance to re-evaluate her relationship with her body.
"The pandemic really helped me to shift my awareness on what exercise does for my mental health instead of what it does for my body, ' explains Suarez Domeier.
"I gained 'The COVID 19,' so it can be hard," she added, referencing a term that's become popular for pandemic weight gain.
We've all been through a difficult time and some of our bodies might be feeling worse for wear.
But we need to extend kindness to ourselves when we look in the mirror and at each other. That goes for both kids and their parents.
Now isn't the time for comparing ourselves to a Kardashian, or even to the body we may have had before the world was turned upside down. It's time to celebrate our bodies, no matter what the size or shape, because they've made it through a pandemic and continue to move forward.
That deserves some high praise and respect. So, yes, your body is ready for the beach — and honestly, it's ready for anything.
Why parents and kids need to be more accepting of their post-pandemic bodies - CBC.ca
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